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Monday, March 01, 2010

Timberwolves Al Jefferson arrested for driving under the influence. A two-game suspension without the $300,000 in pay. Al, have I got a deal for you.

Strib reported the arrest, and the suspension and apology to fans and the team, here. It reminds me of Koren Robinson, former Vikings receiver, former NFL player [I don't think he is still on any roster]. Young multimillionaires putting their futures at risk.

Al, here's my deal. For two-thirds of the hit, $200,000 I will be your 24/7 live-in chauffeur. I can live in the boat house. Keep my books and workstation there. If you don't have Wi-fi or broadband, that could be cured.

I will even give you tips on improving your game.

We could work together on keeping in shape, weight down, and with the $200,000 I could upgrade my running shoes and extend my training distance.

Think it over Al.

You'd have come out $100,000 ahead if only we'd touched base a few days ago. Such a deal.

Gilbert Arenas should have made safer arrangements. I could qualify for and attain a concealed carry permit, after all, far less stable individuals have been granted one.

Jayson Williams, well, Al, you're no Jayson Williams, are you?