Packaging it in a big sack. The nation needs leaders like me.

I am thinking of running for dogcatcher. With little thought or work. So, here is inspired text I could lift nearly verbatim for being as patriotic US of A flag worthy, and as apple pie American, as an auto dealership's lot decoration, or indoor plumbing fixture marketing:

Finally, this congressional seat [dogcatcher van] belongs to “you the people” and it is your right and responsibility every 2 years
to give custody of this seat [van] to someone you deem worthy. Before I ask for your vote I want to “earn” it. I want to earn your respect and trust as I meet you on the campaign trail. It will be a privilege to serve as your congressman [dogcatcher]. Let’s take the best that God has given to us, make the most of it, and know that there is not a thing we can’t do together. There is not a better country in which to raise a family, raise a flag, or raise expectations, than the United States of America. God Bless you all and God Bless America!

Yes, the original text needs context editing, but only on context. Otherwise the rhetoric soars, right?


Reader query: Whose words? What context? No link. No hint. It is the alpha and omega of empty-speak, surely, but for dogcatcher there is not a need to get fancy.

Superimpose it atop a pretty pristine environmentally pure image, to dress it up a bit with suggestions of yearning for somewhere nice.

ON THE ISSUES: I never met a dog I didn't like!