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Wednesday, September 27, 2017

Reader special offer: Get a Roy Moore "Ten Commandments" replica statue paperweight, yours for only $49.99 [plus postage].


But wait, there's more. Send me your check for the full purchase amount by noon Oct. 15, and get a replica Roy Moore solid [and not inflatable] doll with the replica. Both replica and doll are made of unbreakable polyurethane rubber. Your child can play with either, hammer nails in either, and it will still stand up proudly on your desk, atop your important papers, as vigilant of your desk as Roy will be of his. What more might you want? WELL! . If that check's received by Oct. 15, WE PAY THE POSTAGE.

Offer limited to one per customer, supply is greatly limited, and no check will be cashed unless the item ships. If you are not satisfied, or if items in inventory do not last to ship you yours, we will not cash your check and will return same if you include a stamped self-addressed envelope with your purchase letter. Offer not good in Washington DC, Texas, Wisconsin, Mississippi nor Alabama -and- any purchase letter offer is subject to a right to decline shipping for any reason, or no reason (like being fired from employment at will).

What a sharp doll, and what a special monument.
Just like the one Roy intends to take to DC
for his Senate office. His will have swamp drainage plumbing,
but your replica will not.

credit where due: images from online, here


______________UPDATE_______________
Well, the follow-up marketing plan was "Made in China" Moore Rock banks, the replica, hollow, with a coin slot on the top, between Commandment tablets. "Jesus saves and you can too" being a possible slogan. But since Roy's claiming copyright on the thing [a design patent being perhaps a better idea, but "intellectual property" as a term is arguably an insult to intellect as well as inapplicable to a hustle grounded on public domain stuff pasted together inartfully]; such a claim quells any real desire to hustle the Moore hustle beyond how extensively Moore's been hustling it. Sorry if you wanted doll and replica. Offer withdrawn. Go elsewhere for Roy paraphenalia if that is your true craving. Anywhere else. Please.