When a real newspaper reports, one buying ink by the rail tank-car full, 126 comments can be generated on a report where I have a simple, perhaps some may say simple-minded solution to offer.

Paul Levy's Strib item, this link.

My answer, bring the French Horn to graduation and play "I Did it My Way" when the designated valedictorian begins giving his/her speech.

After tooting your own horn in Strib, why not?