It is a Civil Defense device, as the side badging in the photo demonstrates. It will protect your head, at caucus, if you feel there's any danger you will be believing things the party bosses and wannabes are spouting. And for your friends who caucus with the OTHER PARTY, they can use it too, because the knob under the handle adjusts sensitivity so that if caucus sleaze pins it out at one level, just dial a less sensitive range, and keep your political wannabes or the OTHER PARTY wannabes on-scale. At its most insensitive setting, rumor has it that it would not even pin-out at the Living Word Christian Center; and that was with each of the Hammonds having a preaching shot at pinning it, on test day. So rest assured, your candidate, the challenger, the front-runner or trailing candidate, none should pin it unless it, like you, is at caucus too sensitive - and if YOU cannot adjust, remember, the Sleaze-o-Meter can.
Now for something different - but the circle will be unbroken. However, first a test case to show you how it works - this archive item excerpted [emphasis added]:
Posted: 6/14/05
Former Transportation Commissioner Elwyn Tinklenberg announces candidacy for Sixth District Congress
by T.W. Budig
ECM capitol reporter
A resident of Blaine, Tinklenberg served on the Blaine City Council and for 10 years as mayor. A former Anoka County official, he came to Blaine as pastor of United Methodist Church.
His speech at the National Sports Center was laced with religious references.
The notion that government is inherently bad is part of an attempt to craft cynicism as the mother's milk of corruption and dishonesty, he explained. "Right now America is a well-oiled machine," said Tinklenberg. "It is working smoothly for the moneychangers who hope desperately that we will not notice that they have taken up residence in the Temple," he said.
Tinklenberg believes his political stances reflect the Sixth District.
He's a Pro Life Democrat.
So, tell me, was it the Pharisees or Sadducees in gospel times who had the greater number of regionwide consulting contracts and lobbying positions with the Roman occupation forces in the Holy Land? Or does it matter? Well, don't ask me - ask the Sleze-o-Meter. Here's the "Lobbyist-Consultant Tinklenberg audacity to call others moneychangers in the Temple" reading:
Yup. A 2.1. Not too bad on the "r/hr" ("reprehensibility-per-hour") scale. Not outstandingly sleazy. Middling. For a better idea, on the scale sensitivity selected, a -2- reading, that's about a "pot calling the kettle black" in qualitative vs. quantitative terms; while up to a -3- and it's "Let him who is among you without sin cast the first stone."
So, a 2.1, go figure it out.
It's original, it's portable, it's better than warm boots in the snow, it's the Sleaze-o-Meter protective device. You can have it on while watching TV. Dial your sensitivity, Masterpiece Theater, Fox News, Veg-o-matic ads, exercise equipment special segments, it will handle them all. And, well, no, it's not as pretty as an i-phone, but go price one of those hummers - then think it over, and it will do things your i-phone, your neighbor's i-phone cannot accomplish. Remember, one per family, batteries not included. And don't be fooled by imitations or other brands that say they are as good. There is only one. It's the original Sleaze-o-Meter, and nothing less. You'll be sorry if you bought an imitation, or voted for one - for sure you can be sorry about that and a Sleaze-o-Meter can help prevent that wasted believing vote - indeed, it can even pinpoint and identify the party bosses at caucus, the elderly, white, stern-faced, men, standing quietly in a bunch at the back of the caucus hall, it can home in on them all.